The Cranial Archives
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2020 Vision
The new year is almost upon us! In fact, it very well might be 2020 by the time you read this. Greetings, future human! Please enjoy our fine selection of Magic rules questions as we do our thing once again at Cranial Insertion, new year or not.
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Just Hear Those Slay Bells Jingling
Ho, ho, ho! Santa joins us bringing presents and joy to all the people of the world! Or... maybe just special guest in answering all of those rules questions you folks have! So join us in this week's rewarding edition of Cranial Insertion!
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The End of a Saga
The Star Wars saga is coming to an end this week, and to celebrate we have put together a galactic sized article! Make no mistake there are no Jedi mind tricks here, only the answers you seek to the questions you have! So join us in this week's epic adventure of Cranial Insertion!
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Lucky Number Thirteen
Luck is with us this week as we pull out all the stops! Answering all those rules questions for which you have so desired the answer! So join us once again for this week's fortunate edition of Cranial Insertion!
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CI's Secret Lair Search
The secret lair has started and now we have begun to reveal all of those hidden secrets within the rules! Secrets that your heart has long desired! Secrets that many would want to know, if only there was a way for them to access them across some sort of inter-sharable-visual-filigree of computational things; alas, for those who deign to learn the secrets within read on in this week's information filled edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Oko no Moko
Oko is banned in standard! Read all about it in this week’s exciting edition of Cranial insertion!
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This is a Playtest Article
Testing, testing, one, two, three. The playtest cards are available in the Mystery booster drafts at Magic Fests, and those have been causing quite the stir. So in celebration we take a look at actual cards and answer your rules questions about them! Read on in this weeks very real edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Song of Ice and Ire
Winter is coming. The elks are running around in full force, food is being harvested, and the questions are being answered! So read on in this week’s frosty edition of Cranial Insertion!
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This Title Is Now a 3/3 Elk Creature
+2: Create a Food token or you could just make an Elk. Read on in this week's 3/3 edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Halloween Monster Mailbag
It is that time of year again! Moko has once again broken out all his gear for Halloween to decorate the offices and bring terror into the hearts of children everywhere. I suppose that is your joy when you are a zombie monkey. So read on as we try to alleviate some of your fears of not knowing that rules interaction in this week’s exciting edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Tale as Old as Time
In the days of yore, magic was controlled by the most powerful sages atop their mountains. These gurus of time and reason, wait... not that kind of magic? Not those types of tales? The Grimmer variety? Read on in this week's mythical edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Night at the Opera
The curtain is rising on tonights performance, the excitement is palpable! Let the show commence... It's getting out of hand the final curtain will fall! Hear my voice, there is no choice, there's no way out! You'll find out, in this week's operatic edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Watch the Throne
The Knights are facing off against the Fey and the king has returned, while the rich are being robbed from and their goodies are given to the poor! The beauty has met the beast and mermaids are dreaming of walking on land, so we have packed this week's article full of those Eldraine questions you have been wanting to know the answers for! Read on in this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Not-so-Grimm Fairy Tales
The tales of fay have finally hit our local stores, vying for the throne, what will happen when their glamours become exposed? Come join us as we seek to steel our resolve and test our mettle amongst the Grimm tales about to unfold as we prepare for time when the Throne of Eldraine hits shelves!
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Goodbye to Ixalan and Dominaria
September is coming to a close and so is Ixalan and Dominaria's time in Standard. We have put together a final hurrah of rules questions and answers involving all of your favorite cards, or at least the recent one you have inquired about. So join us for this week's sendoff edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Equiznox 2: Eclectic Boogaloo
They are back! The equinox is upon us once again and we are returning back to the future! This week we have another fantastic quiz article! So travel inside and test your mettle in this week's futuristic edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Mom, Volrath Won't Stop Copying Me!
Commander 2019 has dropped and we are taking a look over all of those rules questions that you have sent in, and decided those would be good to make an article with. So we set about with good old pen and paper to make copies of each of them and then realized that our articles are only digital! Join us for this week's offprint edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Banned List Shake-Up
The ever-changing landscape of Magic has changed again with recent updates to the Banned and Restricted lists, but one thing that never changes is that there are rules questions that must be answered. Read on and enjoy today's 100% Hogaak-free edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Commander Christmas
'Tis the season for new Commander cards! To celebrate we are bringing you a giant sleigh full of the answers you needed to keep playing with all these awesome new cards! So join us for this week's jolly edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Back to School, 4th Edition
Now with a Brand-New ForewordSummer is coming to a close and that can mean only one thing, School is starting again! So to celebrate we are breaking out all the higher learning we have and sharing that with you! So join us for this week's educational edition of Cranial Insertion! Now with fewer textbooks!
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How Do I Tell a Card I Want to Kiss It?
Hello everyone and welcome back to yet another exciting edition of Cranial Insertion! Here we are continuing our summer season of fun and excitement with the answers you need for all those questions you have with regard to your most fun and exciting summer activity, things like playing at the beach, walking the boardwalk, pickup games of baseball or softball, or even more Magic! Okay, so really our focus is just going to be on that last one, so join us once again for another hot session of questions and answers!
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Cabin Fever
From out in the wilderness we have managed to cobble together yet another article with all of the survival skills you are going to need in order to navigate the Magic landscape. So join us once again as we endure the wonderful questions and answers of this weeks Cranial Insertion!
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A Lotus By Any Other Name
O’ Lotus Vale, O’ Lotus Vale. Wouldst a Lotus by any other name still add three mana to my mana pool? We dive into that question and more in this week’s mana hungry edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Slice of Pi
Round and round she goes where she stops nobody knows! At least three times around with only one turn, though we did have to ask Moko at least four times to respond once to our five general inquiries about this week's article. So lets put everything together and get to it in this week's annular edition of Cranial Insertion!
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It's My Party And I'll Cry if I Want to
Andrew is living it up and partying it down! So he has put together one banger of an article for his birthday bash! Join us for this week’s celebratory edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Into the Core
Back at it again, we are delving deep into the rules, so we can get at the heart of those burning questions you have! So jump right in so we can dig into the crux of the issues at hand! Join us for this week's foundational edition of Cranial Insertion! Now with more nitty gritty!
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Sunny Days
The sun is shining and the days are glorious! So we have put together a ray of sunshine for you answering all those hot, hot, hot rules questions! So join us for this week's brilliant edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Happy Summer Solsquiz!
Summer has begun and the heat is on! So we are turning it up with a quiz article, you can test your mettle and compete with your friends to see who burns brightest! So read on in this week's challenging edition of Cranial Insertion!
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I'm Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot
Things are heating up here in the CI offices and while we try to cool off with we take a moment to respond to some of those rules questions you have sent us. They also make great paper fans after we have printed them out! So join us for this week's heated edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Going Horizontal
Modern Horizons is on the horizon and we have aligned our inbox with all of your questions. So once again we have put together a most contemporary collection of answers to those questions you have burning on your mind! So read on in this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Just a Summer Break
School is winding down and the summer is starting to heat up. Here in the Cranial Insertion offices we are cooking up some of our famous answers to those fantastic and fun rules questions you keep divining for us! So join us in this week's all out extravaganza of exaltation in this edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Cranial Insertion's Memorial Day Sale
As we take some time to remember the fallen here in the US we also take some time to hit the shops and to build up our supplies to continue the fight! So read on as we answer all of those stubborn rules questions in this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Zombie Hunting for Fun and Profit
This week we begin to wax philosophically regarding the ever present question of zombies and their feelings. Do they feel? What are they feeling? When are they feeling these things? Or we could just focus on a bunch of rules questions surrounding everyone's favorite MtG tribe! So join us for this week's everliving edition of Cranial Insertion! Now with more bandages!
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WAR, What is it Good for?
The planeswalkers are fighting for the multiverse, Nicol Bolas has unleashed his massive army on the plane of Ravnica to destroy everything for power, glory, and the fun of it all! So we have once again brought you the tools you need in the form of answers to those burning rules questions, ro read on in this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion! Though in the end we must remind ourselves the answer is Absolutely Nothing!
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Breaking News!
This just in from the plane of Ravnica, news of the war effort the valiant Oath of the Gatewatch is taking on Nicol Bolas as he unleashes his greatest scheme yet! To side in the war efforts we have prepared yet another article chock full of those rules answers you will need regardless of what side you are on! So join us for this week’s fighting good edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Ravnica: Endgame
This is it, the end is neigh! Doom upon us all, a curse o' both our houses! The Planeswalkers of the multiverse have gathered together on the plane of Ravnica to fight the ultimate fight! Bolas has unleashed his mighty plans and the world is aflame! With the War of the Spark prerelease in our rear view we take a peak at some of the upcoming cards and their rules interactions! So join us in this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Command & Conquer
The Brotherhood of Nod are closing in while we await final orders to help us crush them in final victory, bringing glory to the Global Defense Initiative! Gather the troops as we delve into yet another foray with our most dastardly foe once again! Read on in this week's commanding edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Endings and Beginnings
We are proud to continue the tradition of answering your rules questions! So this article marks a new beginning for us here at the CI offices a new writer! So join us this week for another high quality romp through our inboxes, and let us all say welcome to Andrew!
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The Ten Writers
Moko has put together a special article for this week in celebration of CI's 14th anniversary! Using some time wimey magic to gather past writers to provide responses to those more recent questions you asked! So read on in this week's celebratory edition of Cranial Insertion!
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A Very Foolish Quiz
This week we are bringing you once again the answers to all those burning Ravnica rules questions you have been pouring into the CI offices! Wait... what is that? A quiz article you say? For April 1st? Is this a prank? No, okay then. Well then, folks, looks like we have another challenging quiz for you to test your mettle against with all the rules knowledge you have been building through CI articles! So read on in this week's silver lined edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Spring into Action
Spring time is here once again and boy do we have the answer to all of those winder blues you are trying to shake off! So join us in all the exciting glory and detail that is this weeks edition of Cranial Insertion! Now if only I can find out what Moko is doing with all those springs.
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Lost in the Library
This week we bring you the knowledge you seek from deep within the halls of the Azorious library. Seeking the rules knowledge we need in order to better play Magic since the inception of the guilds! So join us for this week's insightful edition of Cranial Insertion! Now if only we could find our way back to the CI offices...
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Come Up to the Lab and See What's on the Slab
Welcome, welcome! Please do come right in, be sure to have filled out your Form A-35, Schedule C, as well as all the required NDA paperwork. Once inside we can discuss all of the work that Moko and the others have been so diligently working on recently! No, no, do not mind all that fine print on the paperwork it is nothing just some stuff our lawyers required is all! Do please, read on in this week's experimental edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Industrial Evolution
The Simic combine is at it again! This time Moko and the writers seem bound to have their application accepted, which makes for some interesting things in the CI Offices refrigerator. Nevertheless, we have put together yet another amalgamation of answers to your rules questions! So come on in and join us for this week's exciting edition of Cranial Insertion. Just be carful if someone offers you something to eat while you visit, it might just bite back!
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Sponsored by the Senate
This week's article as part of paragraph 12 subsection 21, in conjunction with the defined rules of article writing on Ravnica paragraph 17 subsection 15, following the additional federated rules of publications paragraph 532 subsection 9, pursuing to the by-laws of electronic transmission of written works paragraphs 21, 42, and 73 subsections 51, 34, and 12, in accordance with the regulations for disseminating truthful information to the populace paragraphs 71 and 432 subsections 83 and 27, along with the addendum to the statues of communication using non magical means paragraph 68 subsections 28 and 21 under the ordinances of the use of physical interactions as defined by the universe paragraphs 900 and 2135 subsections 31 and 56 set forth by the guidelines as stated in recent memoranda to the laws and statues of the plane of Ravnica we the Azorious Senate hereby condemn the article known as Cranial Insertion and anyone who considers reading it as unfit for consumption based upon the illegibility and flagrant use of zombified monkeys throughout. Those caught considering reading such content will be subject to punitive action to the fullest extent set forth by the laws listed as well as any other applicable laws set forth and pursuant to but not limited to those listed by the Azorious Senate.
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Who Wants to Be the Living Guildpact?
With Jace missing in action, a replacement for the Living Guildpact must be found ASAP! Join us this week for a rollicking Ravnica quiz and find out if you're suited for the task in this edition of Cranial Insertion!
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My Punny Valentine
Valentines Day is around the corner here in the US and we are getting the ones we love all the answers to their burning rules questions. So gather your flowers, chocolates, and blankets and cozy up to the fire with your loved ones for the night and read on in this weeks dearest edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Let's Start a Riot
Things are getting rowdy around the CI offices, Moko has begun to embrace his inner Gruul, I would have always thought a zombie monkey was more Golgari, but hey. Once again we have put together yet another article chock full of those exciting rules questions you most wanted answered. This week is yet again no exception, so read on in this week's rough and tumble edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Allies, Allegedly
Ravnica Allegiance has released and we have all the answers to those pesky new rules questions that have been burning in the back of your mind. As you fight over which guild is cooler and ally with your friends to crush your enemies be sure to crack open this week's edition of Cranial Insertion! Now with more gold cards! *No physical cards were harmed in the printing of this article.*
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Pledge of Ravnica Allegiance
Ravnica Allegiance prereleases have just happened this weekend and we have some hot new cards in our hands to play with!!! So with that in mind we have some hot new questions that have been burning in your minds. No if only we can get the smell of burning out of the offices, who ever let Moko have a source of fire is going to be in big trouble right after we put them all out! So read on in this week's (Rakdos?) allied edition of Cranial Insertion!
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The Anticipation is Killing Me
The waiting is the hardest part sometimes. This week we continue taking a look at those questions you have wanted answers to for what seems an eternity now. You asked and we answered! So join us in this week's anticipated edition of Cranial Insertion!
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Running with Blades
Life is oh so brief, and the search for ways to extend it seem like something everyone seeks. To that end we have put together answers to those rules questions you have been wanting to know, so you can smash your opponents and extend your life (at least in games of Magic)! Now if we can just get Moko to sit still long enough to answer all the questions. So read on in this week's extraordinary edition of Cranial Insertion!
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